felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hippo gnu deer
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
