He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
