I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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