She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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