Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
