Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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