tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
