pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
