i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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