There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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