she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
