Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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