Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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