She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
