Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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