Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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