her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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