Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
