He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
