I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
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Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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