Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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