Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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