After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
