yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We just shotgunned beers for America
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
