I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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