That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
