im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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