...so i touched it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
