woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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