I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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