But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
