know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
