He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
