please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
