Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed