Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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