FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
