I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize