Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
