I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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