You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
