Dignity is for republicans.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
