I accidentally burped into my bong.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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