I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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