Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
