I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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