I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
