I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
