we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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