GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
