just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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