I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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