he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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