I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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