Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
