I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said you looked used
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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