I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
