I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
