you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
