I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
