i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
