How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
