Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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