Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
