There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
