our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
